Saturday, 30 November 2013

Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny )

Here are six very funny and interesting life lessons you should see and share with the people you love.
Lesson 1: Naked Wife

I Will Join APC if ASUU Calls Off Strike- President Jonathan

A source close to the presidency told Hot Swen media this morning, that President Jonathan has promised to abandon the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) for the newly established All Progressives Congress (APC) if the ASUU strike is called off next week.

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Photo of the day : Snake Girl


What would you do if you saw this girl in your room in the middle of the night like this? 

You should see this also: Police Officer Grabs Girl's Breasts

Jokes: Akpos Wife In Bed With Boss ( Funny)


Three guys all worked in the same office with the same male boss.

Each day, they watched the boss leave work early.


America Extends Obama Care to Nigeria

 The American government has extended the popular Obama Care to Nigeria. In case you don’t know what Obama care is, it is a new health care bill which was signed into law in 2010 under the administration of President Barack Obama to offer every American citizen access to cheap medical care through private insurance companies.

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Top 5 Crazy Picture Road Signs - Part 2

NUMBER 5

We Need Yahoo Boys to Generate Foreign Exchange - Finance Minister.

 The country’s finance minister, Mrs Okonjo Umeh, addressed news men today at a press briefing in Abuja. She spoke about several issues affecting the nation’s economy and how citizens can help the finance ministry in achieving remarkable results.

Jokes: Akpos In University (Funny)

 
Akpos gained admission into MIT to study Telecoms. There he became friends with an American and a Japanese.
One day they were having TEA together and trying to impress each other that their country is moving forward faster than others.

Monday, 25 November 2013

Top 5 Crazy Picture Road Signs - Part 1

  NUMBER 4

  NUMBER 3

                                                                 NUMBER 2
  
NUMBER 1

You should see this also: Photo Of The Day: No Dumping Of Waste

Be a nice person, share this with your friends.

China Making Moves to Acquire Nigeria.


The Chinese government is making frantic moves to purchase some African countries by 2014.This development is as a result of a recent census which revealed that China is currently overpopulated. The country will soon run out of space to accommodate her citizens and the government has decided to acquire more land space.

Sunday, 24 November 2013

ASUU Strike: INEC Offers Solution

 It is no longer news that the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU), has been on strike for over four months. The university lecturers embarked on this industrial action to protest against the Nigerian government’s breach of its 2009 agreement with the union.

Friday, 22 November 2013

Gala Sellers To Represent Nigeria AT 2014 Winter Olympics.



The Nigerian sports ministry has embarked on an operation to recruit hawkers who sell items on major roads across the country.

Photo Of The Day: No Dumping Of Waste


This is just crazy. Right ?


You should see this also:  Crazy Bike Guy
Be a nice person, share this with your friends.

Jokes: Akpos In The Barber's Shop



Akpos was in a barber's shop to get a hair cut.

While the barber was cutting his hair, he saw a beautiful lady sitting patiently in the shop.

Nigeria’s population To Double By 2014 Due To ASUU Strike

The Nigerian population commission (NPC) has stated that the country’s population might double by 2014 due to the strike of the university lecturers. The academic staff union of universities embarked on an indefinite strike four months ago and this has kept many students idle for four months.

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Don Jazzy Kidnapped

Hot Swen news learnt that the CEO of Mavin Records, Don Jazzy, was kidnapped last night along the Lekki axis of Lagos on his was from a show. The Don’s car was reportedly snatched at gun point with him still in the vehicle.

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Mahmud Abacha Shares Bentley as Wedding Souvenirs

 A Tipster close to the Abacha family told Hot Swen news that the son of the late Nigeria military dictator, distributed several expensive items as souvenirs to guests at his wedding on Sunday.

Photo Of The Day : Modern Cat

Photo Of The Day : Modern Cat

Here is another picture you should see : Police Officer Grabs Girl's Breasts

Hot Swen Top Ten Facts - Part 1


1. Former Nigerian President,Olusegun Obasanjo was part of the engineering team that invented the blackberry phone.


Top Ten Rejection Lines From Women


I think of you as a brother. 
Meaning : (You remind me of my cab man, I'll only call you when I need you) 


There's a slight difference in our ages. 
Meaning : (Don't you know you are old enough to be my father !!!) 

I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. 
Meaning : (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.) 

My life is too complicated right now. 
Meaning : (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.) 

I've got a boyfriend. 
Meaning : (I prefer my male dog to you.) 

I don't date men where I work. 
Meaning : (I wouldn't date you even if you were in the same 'earth', much less the same building.) 

It's not you, it's me. 
Meaning : (It's you.) 

I'm concentrating on my career. 
Meaning : (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) 

I'm not ready for relationships. 
Meaning : (You are not my type !! I've sworn off only men like you.) 

Let's be friends. 
Meaning : (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.) 



Jokes : Akpos The Traveler (Funny)



Akpos on his way to Lagos entered a bus going to Lagos.

As the bus started moving Akpos shouted; Driver, when we get to Ore please tell me.
The Driver said; Okay.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Warning: Heavy Winter To Hit Nigeria In December.

 The World Weather Organisation, WWO, announced this morning that there would be major climate changes in Nigeria by December, 2013.

Jokes: Poor Akpos In The Hospital

Akpos in a hurry entered the Ladies' toilet instead of the Men's toilet.

He sat down and noticed four buttons with the following inscriptions on them: WW, WA, PP, APR

Akpos was curious and pressed the WW button.

Monday, 18 November 2013

Photo Of The Day: Miss Obama


This is a very pretty picture of Miss Obama.

Did You Know : It Is Good To Drink And Drive

Hot Swen Fact for Today : We all know it is illegal to drink and drive in Nigeria, and you could be charged to court and prosecuted if found guilty of driving under the influence of alcohol.
But did you know that >>>>>

Jokes : Akpos and The Girl In Mini Skirt

At a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin-tight miniskirt.

When the bus arrived, and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she unzipped a little at the back of her Mini Skirt.

Shocking : Talking Dog Found In Port Harcourt

A resident of Port Harcourt  woke up this morning as his dog told him “good morning master”. Mr Ayobami lives alone in his two bedroom apartment along Jordan road, Port Harcourt. He bought a puppy three years ago after his family traveled abroad. All he ever saw the dog do was bark at strangers but for the first time, the dog talked today.

I Didn't Go For Peter’s Wedding Because I Don’t Like Weddings. – D’Banj

The Koko Master is at it again. Dapo Oyebanjo popularly known as D’Banj posted a funny tweet on his twitter profile today. After Genevieve turned him down just to be with Davido, the Oliver Twist crooner has been busy rediscovering himself.

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Jokes : Pilot Akpos ( Funny )


Akpos who was an airplane cleaner was cleaning the pilot's cockpit and saw a book entitled;

“How to fly an airplane for beginners, Volume 1 ". 

Photo Of The Day : National Geographic behind the scenes

Photo Of The Day : National Geographic behind the scenes 

Here is another interesting picture : Kissing on The Rocks

Check Out Mr May D’s Wedding Gift To Peter Okoye.

 As we all know, Mr May D was kicked out of Square Records some time ago. Rumour has it that he was thrown out for leaking one of Psquare’s songs. Immediately after his eviction from the record label, May D went on social media platforms to pour out his anger accusing the twins of being selfish.

Jokes: Mark 17 ( Funny )

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

Saturday, 16 November 2013

Photo Of The Day : Cheating Husband



Here is another interesting picture : Photo Of The Day: Kissing on The Rocks

How To See Through People’s Clothes With Your Glasses

Many of our readers, especially the male ones, have been sending messages to our science and technology department asking how they can see through people’s clothes without them knowing.

Jokes: Girl and Boyfriend


A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.

Jokes: Female Teacher and John

A female teacher,was having a problem with John in her class of 3rd graders.
John said 'M'am, I should be in 4th grade, i'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade'.
The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took john 2 the Principal's office. She explained everything 2 the Principal who decided 2 test john with some questions that a 4th grade should know.

Friday, 15 November 2013

Photo of the day: Ini Edo and President Jonathan's Wedding Ceremony


Here is a story you should read : Mavin Records Kicks out Wande Coal, Signs Ebenezer Obey 

Peter Okoye Retrieves Range Rover Evogue, Lola Cancels Wedding

Information reaching Hot Swen media house has it that Peter Okoye of Psquare has retrieved the range rover SUV which he used to propose to his fiancée Lola Omotayo. 

Prince William Reacts to Queens Pregnancy, Threatens 2face


Following the recent development which hit the Buckingham like a storm, Prince William has finally opened up on how he feels about the pregnancy of his eighty seven year old grandmother, Queen Elizabeth the second.

Thursday, 14 November 2013

21 Years Old Davido Set to Wed Next Month

The Skelewu crooner, David Adeleke, popularly known as Davido announced on his twitter profile this morning that he would be getting married next month. Davido was in the news recently for the controversy which his Skelewu video generated and also for getting involved in a club brawl with his bouncer.

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Shocking : Basketball Player,Kobe Bryant, Gets Stuck In The Air


An American basketball player, Kobe Bryant left stares on the faces of spectators yesterday during the Obamacare Basketball Challenge.  Los Angeles Lakers were being trashed by the Chicago Bulls. Kobe was not full of energy as he normally used to be until the fans started cheering him.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Shocking Revelation: Nobody is Getting Out Alive

I know you might be a little scared reading this but I’m sorry I have a little bad news for you. A recent study carried out by Hot Swen research team has shown that nobody is getting out of this life alive. Yes no matter how hard you try, you are not getting out alive.

Photo Of The Day: Kissing on The Rocks


Caption this picture. 

Here is another picture you might like : Crazy Bike Guy
Be a nice person, share this with your friends.

Monday, 11 November 2013

Chris Brown Marries 20 Year Old Nigerian Girl Secretly

Chris and Adaeze.
A source close to Chris Brown, told Hot Swen Media that the American musician got married to a Nigerian girl secretly on Saturday. The question on everybody’s lips is ‘why would Chris Breezy have a secret wedding’? So many people have been calling our telephone lines asking us to contact Chris to find out why he did this and to also get some of the wedding pictures.

33 Years Old Teacher Pregnant For Her 11 Years Old Student

A staff of H.S International Comprehensive College, Ikeja, Miss Helen Afolabi claims to be having an affair with one of her students, John George. Miss Helen went for a pregnancy test over the weekend and was confirmed pregnant at the H.S. General Hospital. She is a single woman who has never been married and claims that her student, John, is responsible for her pregnancy.


Sunday, 10 November 2013

Chidinma MsKedike Taken to Rehab after Consuming Smirnoff Ice


Information reaching Hot Swen has it that the Kedike crooner has been taken to a rehab at Lekki after drinking half-can of Smirnoff Ice at a club yesterday.


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