Friday, 27 December 2013

PRESIDENT JONATHAN DEVASTATED BECAUSE HIS SON SUPPORTS APC


Information reaching Hot Swen Media has it that President Jonathan was highly devastated to find out that his son, Hope Jonathan, is a strong supporter of Nigeria’s number one opposition party, APC.

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

FG POSTPONES XMAS AS BOKO HARAM INJURES SANTA CLAUS


Santa Claus arrived in Abuja,Nigeria today on an invitation by Nigeria’s first lady, Mama Peace, to celebrate Christmas with the Jonathan family as well as close friends of the family but was injured a few minutes ago inside Santa’s Castle due to an explosion which the dreaded Boko Haram sect has claimed responsibility for.

Hot Swen Facts - Part 4


1.  3% of all ex-priests head-butt people when people aren't looking

LAGOS STATE GOVERNMENT INTRODUCES WHEEL BARROW RACING COMPETITION.


The Lagos state government has introduced a new sport in the state. This new sport is known as “Wheel Barrow Racing”, it involves several people participating in a racing competition by pushing wheel barrows very fast.

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

I SHOULD HAVE REMAINED WITH AMBER ROSE- KANYE WEST


American hip hop artist, Kanye West has taken to twitter to rant about how his music career has been crashing since he started dating Kim Kardashian.

JOKES: AKPOS ASSIGNMENT


Akpos is a varsity student. The Lecturer ordered him to write an apology letter showing why he didn’t submit an assignment.

Dear Lecturer,

Saturday, 21 December 2013

ARSENAL IS FINISHED-RAMSEY


Midfielder Aaron Ramsey has come out to say that Arsenal is finished after their Manchester City mauling.
Ramsey feels the defeat has done a permanent damage on the team and he believes strongly that it would be nearly impossible for them to recover .

DAME PATIENCE JONATHAN WELCOMES BABY GIRL

The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, President Jonathan, welcomed a baby girl into the family last week as his wife, Dame Patience Jonathan, put to bed at the Presidential Hospital.

JOKES: AKPOS AND THE BEGGAR (HILARIOUS)


For a very long time a guy Akpos had been battling with a leak in his roof.

One night there was a heavy downpour and he had to move from one corner of the room to the other, to avoid drops from the roof.

OBAMA INTRODUCES EDIBLE MONEY TO FIGHT HUNGER


President Barack Obama shocked the world today with an unprecedented answer to America’s hunger problem.

TOP 5 CRAZY PICTURE ROAD SIGNS - PART 3

NUMBER 5

POLICE ARRESTS KID FOR WATCHING CHINESE MOVIE


The Nigerian Police Force has arrested a twelve year old boy, Obinna, for watching a Chinese movie on his phone.

Hot Swen Facts - Part 3


Hot Swen Dot Com presents Hot Swen Facts - Part 3

1. 46% of all men eat people during summer

Friday, 20 December 2013

RUGGED MAN AND KHLOE KARDASHIAN ENGAGED.

Following the split between Khloe Kardashian and her former husband, Odom Lamar, Hot Swen Media learnt that Khloe has been having some good times with Nigerian artist, Rugged Man. 

Thursday, 19 December 2013

JOKES: AKPOS VALENTINE PACKAGE (HILARIOUS)


Chichi was taking a nap on Valentine’s Day afternoon.
After she awoke, she told her husband, (Akpos)

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

MARIAH CAREY KIDNAPPED IN LAGOS LAST NIGHT

Report reaching Hot Swen Media has it that U.S female pop star Mariah Carey who arrived in Lagos 3 days ago to perform at the Access Bank end of the year party has been kidnapped.

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

OBASANJO'S PICTURE ON NEW N5000 NOTES!

The Federal Government has approved the release of new Nigerian Naira currency notes featuring former President Olusegun Obasanjo on the new 5000 naira notes.

ANDRE VILLAS-BOAS TO COACH SUPER EAGLES AT 2014 WORLD CUP

The Nigerian Sports Ministry has hired Andre Villas-Boas, the recently sacked manager of Tottenham Hotspur, to coach the Super Eagles into victory at the Brazil 2014 world cup.

Saturday, 14 December 2013

JOKES: AKPOS AND THE PASTOR


Akpos was coming out from the church after service, and the preacher was standing at the door as usual to shake hands.

LAGBAJA TAKES MASK OFF TO HONOUR NELSON MANDELA

 Many Nigerians have always wondered who the mystery man behind the mask is. Lagbaja is a popular Nigerian artist with several songs to his name.

PHOTO OF THE DAY: POLICE MAN BREAKING THE LAW


KCEE LIMPOPO EXPOSED

The Okpekete master, Kingsley Chinweike Okonkwo aka Kcee, attended Tolu Primary school , Ajegunle Lagos then proceeded to Central High School , Isolo and later University of Nigeria, Nsuka.

Friday, 13 December 2013

Jokes: The Accident


A woman and a man were involved in a car accident.
It was a bad one.
Both of their cars were totally demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

JOKES: WELCOME to the "STOCK" MARKET


A man appeared in one village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around their village, they went out to the forest and started catching them.

YOU MIGHT SPEND 15 YEARS IN JAIL IF YOU INSULT PRESIDENT JONATHAN AGAIN


The Nigerian senate just passed a new bill into law to reduce the number of insults constantly being rained on President Jonathan. The law states that anyone found guilty of calling the Nigerian president uncomplimentary names on social media would be arrested and sent to jail for 15 years without facing the law court.

COSTA RICA CHANGES NAME

The Costa Rican Flag

The Central American country of Costa Rica has expressed a desire to move into the computer era.
President Kiko Sombrero met with his two chief advisers and they discussed the possibility of a name change.

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

PHOTO OF THE DAY: WHO ROCKED THE GOLD CHAIN BEST

Pastor Ayoo Oritsejafor …. CAN president
Who rocked the gold chain best ? Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) President . Ayoo Oritsejafor , the Koko Master D'banj or Kanye West ?

MTN NIGERIA TO HIRE SCHOOL KIDS TO MEET CLIENT DEMANDS


“To keep pace with our growth plans, we have decided to hire school kids for our Victoria Island Office. Currently our headquarters in V.I is understaffed, we have only about twelve workers there handling the work that should be done by over one hundred people so we have decided to hire primary school kids” the company said in a statement here on Tuesday.

Monday, 9 December 2013

TOP 5 PICS OF THE DAY : HILARIOUS HEAD REPLACEMENT

FG ODERS ARREST OF CHILDREN PLAYING POLICE AND THIEF


The Federal government of Nigeria announced on Hot Swen TV today that no child in the country must be seen playing the popular police and thief game.

Hot Swen Lemon Fact for Today



You should not miss this also: Hot Swen Top Ten Facts - Part 2

MAN ARRESTED FOR BRINGING NAKED HORSE TO RACING FIELD


A  Nigerian man has been arrested in America for bringing a naked horse to the racing field .
Mr Akpors  Edet from Warri in Nigeria might be facing up to a 12 year jail term for what the Americans term as indecent exposure .Mr Akpors was visiting the United states for the first time and was not aware of most of their rules . He was invited over by his younger brother who believes he might be more useful to himself over there.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

Hot Swen Top Ten Facts - Part 2



Hot Swen Dot Com presents Hot Swen Top Ten Facts - Part 2

1. A baby's first poo on average is 8 feet long.. Taller than an adult human

Jokes: Akpos In A Public Toilet. ( Hilarious)


Akpos entered a public toilet.

As he started to do his business a voice from the next toilet said; Hi! how are you doing?.

Friday, 6 December 2013

Nelson Mandela was a Great Rapper - Patience Jonathan


Following the death of the great freedom fighter and former South African President, Nelson Mandela, Nigeria’s First Lady who is a 'Vacabularist' has decided to deliver a speech on hotswen dot com in honour of the Legend. See her speech below.

President Jonathan Sets up Panel to Investigate Nelson Mandela’s Death

According to the Special Adviser to the President on Foreign Affairs, Mr Henry Abati, President Jonathan has set up a three-man panel to investigate the demise of the great African Legend, Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela's Death - APC Acuses PDP

 The , All Progressives Congress (APC) has charged the Police and the general public to hold opposition party Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) responsible for the death of the great African legend, Nelson Mandela.

Boko Haram Claims Responsibility For Nelson Mandela's Death

The leader of the Jamaatu ahlis sunnah lil daawati wall jihad, otherwise known as Book Haram, Abubakar Shekau, released a new video today claiming responsibility for Nelson Mandela’s Demise.

WHY YOU SHOULD STOP USING YOUR PHONES IMMEDIATELY

Many of you are so addicted to using your phones that a day without them might be suicidal. Blackberry users top the list of the mobile phone addicts. Android, iPhone and other smart phone users consider their phones to be the third most important part of their bodies immediately after the heart and the brain. Hot Swen now presents to you, five reasons why you need to throw your phones away immediately.

Thursday, 5 December 2013

I Will Abandon Super Eagles For Brazil- Stephen Keshi


The Super Eagles coach, Stephen Keshi, on Wednesday threatened to abandon his team if they were matched to play against Brazil in the 2014 World Cup.

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

USA Troops Flog Ghanaian Journalist for Spelling Obama Wrongly

Ten thousand heavily armed American troops have attacked a Ghanaian journalist, Kofi Kufor, for allegedly spelling the name of the United States president wrongly. Mr Kofi wrote an article about President Obama’s Obama Care plan in a Ghanaian national newspaper. Little did he know that the newspaper will be read by the American president himself.

Monday, 2 December 2013

The New Sony PlayStation 4 was designed by a 6 year old Nigerian Pupil.

The new Sony PlayStation 4 was designed by a six year old Nigerian pupil, Akpos Edet, from warri Nigeria. Sony Inc.’s chief engineer, Mr Fred Wisconsin, said ‘I never knew so much talent existed in Africa.

Iraq Offers To Send One Million Lecturers To Nigeria.

New Unilag V.C
It is no longer news that university lecturers of public universities across Nigeria have been on strike since July, 2013. This has resulted in the partial paralysis of the academic sector in Nigeria. The federal government has tried to persuade the striking ASUU lecturers to return to their classrooms to no avail. The lecturers have insisted on a no retreat, no surrender stand, meaning that the government has to meet all of their demands before they resume work.

Ball Splits Into Two During Football Match.

The match between The Bulls of Eyinba and the defending champions, Kano Pillars, started off like any other match. Things however, got a little messy at the twenty third minute when Kano Pillars striker, Bala Musa, fired a very hard shot. The ball hit Eyinba defender, Efe Paul, on his forehead causing a minor injury. Efe was assisted out of the pitch by the paramedics so the match could continue.

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